Chapter Sixty - I'm Fine

"Oh my God, guys. I just got a text from Chad." Meera's eyes widened over FaceTime. "Have any of you heard about Sean?"

I frowned. "What about him?"

"He met with an accident last night. Broke his leg."

"Shit! That's bad."

"Bad? This is terrible, Becks. The football game is this weekend. He can't play now."

"Oh my God!" I gasped. "I didn't realize that. Oh no! This must be a nightmare for him."

"Well, Chad's gonna go see him at the hospital, and he wants me to come along. Any of you wanna join?"

"I barely talk to him," Cheryl said. "I do feel sorry for him, though. And I would go, but I've got that essay."

"Becks?"

"I would, but I don't think he would want to see me."

"Maybe you're right. I gotta go, guys. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Bye."

We all hung up.

I wondered if Matt was going to visit him. If he was, I could ask him for a ride and take that opportunity to talk to him.

I quickly went downstairs and found Mrs. Brooke preparing dinner.

"Are mom and dad back yet?" I asked.

"No. Is everything okay?"

"Somebody from school met with an accident. Can I go see him at the hospital?"

"Who?" Blake's voice made me turn towards the living room. He was sitting on the couch, his earphones pulled out of his ears to listen to me.

"Sean."

"Oh!" His eyes widened. "Don't worry, Becks. Stay calm. He'll be fine. I'll drive you there."

"Oh! That's not what I..." I trailed off once I realized he wasn't listening to me anymore. He was already on his way upstairs.

"I need to change. Just give me a minute, okay?"

I nodded slowly. Dammit!

A familiar car horn outside made my ears perk up. Matt. I sprinted out of my house to find his car pulling in his driveway.

He stepped out, saw me, and stopped in his tracks. I crossed the street with quick, nervous steps. I'd planned on sneaking out to see him tonight. We hadn't talked after my drunken episode last night.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, carefully studying my face.

"I'm better." I smiled, remembering the things he'd said to me last night. "Thank you for showing up yesterday."

He nodded. "I still want to know what had happened to you."

I bit down on my lip. "I... I'll tell you later. Right now, I'm on my way to the hospital. Did you hear about Sean?"

"That's where I was." He frowned. "You're going to see him?"

"Yeah. Meera's going with Chad, and she asked if I wanted to come along."

His frown was still intact and I opened my mouth to tell him that the only reason I was going to the hospital in the first place was so I could get to talk to him but he beat me to speech.

"Do you need a ride?" he asked.

I smiled at him. "Of course. Let me just go and tell my brother he doesn't have to drive me. The only reason why I was even going..."

I'd started walking towards my house, feeling a rush of happiness at the thought of spending the next hour or so with him.

"Becks," Matt's voice stopped me. "On second thought, I just came back. I've had a long day, and I have to get up early tomorrow. You should go with your brother."

"Oh..." I slowly crossed my arms and nodded. "Sure. No problem."

Matt could never be exhausted enough to decline me a ride. If he hadn't turned his back to me right then and started walking up to his house, I would've probably seen the regret in his eyes, which I was certain was there.

I made my way back to my house just as Blake stepped out while shoving his phone in his pocket. "Ready?"

"Blake, I don't know if I should go."

"What do you mean?"

"I can see him tomorrow. I don't feel like going anymore."

He assessed my face, concerned. "Is it bad? The accident? Are you scared about the condition you're gonna find him in?"

I licked my lips, then lied, "Yes."

"Becks." He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "It's okay to be scared, but if he means anything to you, you should go and see him. Because if you don't, he's all you're gonna think about until morning. Either way, I'm with you, whatever you choose to do."

Sean did mean something to me once. And I suddenly realized how selfish I was being. Irrespective of the way things had ended between us, he was once the person I cared the most about. And I at least owed him a hospital visit after his accident.

"You're right. Let's go." I nodded and got into his car.

He started driving, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see him cutting worried glances at me.

"Hey! He's gonna be fine, okay?"

I offered him a tight smile. "Yeah."

We made it to the hospital just as Chad and Meera were on their way out.

"Do you want me to come inside with you?" Blake asked.

"It's alright."

"Okay. I'll wait here."

"Thanks." I stepped out, and Meera furrowed her brows at me. "I thought you weren't coming."

"Long story. Never mind. How is he?"

"He's in a mood, obviously. I highly doubt you should go and see him."

"What is that supposed to mean? There's no way he's still sour about that break-up. He's got bigger things to worry about."

"Come and find out," Chad said, and I followed him in confusion. Once we reached his room, he motioned for me to go in, but I stood in the doorway, watching Sean for a moment.

His right leg was in a cast, and frustration was written all over his face as he shoved his phone on the side table. He looked restless. As if sensing movement, he snapped his head to the doorway.

Then he sighed out loud and threw his head back into the pillow. "Great! It's you. Rebekah, if you're here to gloat, I'm really not in the mood."

My brows pulled together. "What would I gloat about?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't pretend like you and your boyfriend are not celebrating this."

"Sean, why would Matt and I celebrate your misery? I just learned about your accident an hour ago and came to see you. That's all."

He watched me with a straight face, like it was hard to believe me. "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?" I blinked.

"Well, obviously..." He chuckled darkly. "With me here, your boyfriend's gonna be the captain for the big game."

"Oh!" I suddenly felt bad for Sean, but more than that, as much as I was ashamed to admit, I felt kind of excited for Matt. Maybe that made me a horrible person, but I hoped that made me a better girlfriend.

"I'm sorry," I said, meaning it.

"Are you, though?" he scoffed. "It's like everyone got what they wanted. The whole team got what they fucking wanted." He slammed his fist next to him in the mattress.

"What?" I made my way inside the room. "Sean, that's not true. The team looks up to you. You're an amazing captain, I've seen it."

"Was..." He rolled his eyes. "...an amazing captain. Now it's your boyfriend. Like he was 'always meant to be' as a few teammates like to put it." He used air quotes to say that.

"Meant to be?"

"He was supposed to be the captain right from the start but he stepped down for his music. So, I got captain. But now? Guess who's gonna be the star at the big game? Him. It's always him," he snapped bitterly.

I looked down at my hands, not knowing what to say and said the first thing I could come up with. "If he stepped down in the past, he truly didn't want to be the captain. I'm sure he's not thrilled about taking your spot like this."

He let out a chuckle.

"What he doesn't want, what he wants. It's always about him. He always gets everything." His eyes lifted to mine and his jaw clenched in anger. "You...and now the team."

I swallowed, asking myself what I was even doing there in the first place. I shouldn't have let Blake talk me into visiting my ex, but in my brother's defense, he didn't even know Sean was my ex. I knew how blunt Sean could be with his words. I'd seen it before. What was wrong with me?

"Sean, I-I don't know what to say. I guess I'll leave you to rest."

"Yeah, you do that. It's what you do best. Leave."

I bit down on my lip. "I'm sorry about the way we broke—"

He laughed. "Rebekah, I don't care about the break-up. Honestly? I never cared about us. You're not special. Although I gotta admit I did care about you at some point, but the truth? I only wanted you because I thought Matt wanted you. The day I saw you two perform and heard rumours about you being lovers, I wanted you, not for myself but just to take you away from him. For once, not let him have something. But he won there too, didn't he?"

I took in a shaky breath and stepped back to leave.

"Oh, come on! Don't act hurt. We were nothing. We didn't last a week, Rebekah. Maybe if you'd given us at least a month, things could've changed. You never gave me any time to like you. But how could I? We both know he was on your mind the whole time you were with me."

"Just stop."

He chuckled. "Remember how you rejected my drunk ass at the party when all I wanted was to make out with you? You slept with him after that, didn't you?"

"I did not."

He swallowed, debating whether to believe me or not. But then he laughed it off again.

"But you know what I did after you told me I'll find you in a while?" he lowered his tone, mimicking mine. "I went and slept with Ashley. That's right, while I was still with you. So, yes, I called you a bitch for cheating on me, but guess what?" He chuckled. "What did you think I would do? Wait for you to come back so you could give me that half-assed peck you call a kiss? But you've given him a lot more, haven't you?"

He shot me a dirty look, eyes full of disgust. "You little sl—"

"This was a mistake. I never should've come here," I snapped.

He glared at me, watching me back out of his room. "Thanks for the wishes. I will get well soon."

"I hope you do. And once you've graduated, I hope I never have to see you again."

He smiled sardonically. "Me, too."

I turned on my heels and walked out the door. Meera stood there with a scowl.

"As insensitive as it sounds, I so wanna break his other leg," she spoke through gritted teeth and put an arm around my shoulder, walking me outside.

"I'm so sorry, Becks. I shouldn't have asked you to come here. Hell, I shouldn't even have told you about that asshole. He doesn't deserve an ounce of your care."

"I didn't come here for him." I shrugged.

Her brows pulled together. "Then for what?"

"It's kind of stupid so never mind. I'm just thinking...if he said those things to me, I can't even imagine the stuff he must have said to Matt when he was here earlier."

She scoffed. "To Matt? Sean's a freaking coward around him. Chad told me all he said to Matt was 'I'm happy you're the captain. There's no one else I would trust better with the team.' Can you imagine what a fucking two-faced prick he is?"

"Whoa!" I blinked. "You're right. But all that stuff he said, can we keep it between us?"

"You won't even tell Matt?"

"I specifically won't tell Matt. There's already so much going on between us. And with the football game, finals and the music event, he's got enough on his plate."

She nodded. "Did you tell him about last night?"

"Not yet. But I will, soon."

"Okay. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

I threw my arms around her and just stayed like that for a few moments. She patted me on the back.

"Becks, are you okay?" I could hear the concern in her voice.

"I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." I pulled back and made my way back to my brother's car.

The moment I got in, he assessed my face in silence, then frowned. "Is everything okay?"

Maybe I looked like I was on the verge of crying. Because I was. I could feel the sting of unshed tears in my eyes as my throat tightened.

"Blake, you have no idea how relieved I am," I muttered, bringing my hands together on my lap and just staring at them.

"So, he is okay."

It was more of a question so I felt the need to nod and assure him. "Let's go home."

When we made it back, Mom, Dad and Nick had already had dinner so it was just me and Blake at the table. I was quiet and that was clearly worrying him as he kept cutting glances at me.

"I'm fine, Blake," I finally said.

"You don't look fine."

"I'm better than fine. So much better." I smiled weakly.

He deadpanned. "Now you're scaring me."

I chuckled. "I didn't mean to but I'm just so happy right now. I made some decisions in the past and they felt right. And today, I know that they were right. I've never been happier."

"Good to know I guess." He narrowed his eyes.

"I'm done. I'm gonna head up to my room. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. Don't be surprised if I check up on you in the middle of the night."

I laughed again. "I keep my door locked so you'll just be wasting your time. You have been warned. I'll see you in the morning."

I made my way up to my room and habitually locked my door. Changing into my pajamas, I quickly slipped under the covers and checked my phone.

I really wanted to see Matt. If we weren't going through a rough patch, I would've climbed up to his room and hugged the living daylights out of him.

My phone buzzed with a text and I sat up on my bed with a big smile, telling myself that he'd somehow sensed how much I was missing him and had decided to text me.

Matt: Hey

Rebekah: Hey! How come you're still up?

Matt: Can't sleep. Can't stop thinking about earlier. I should've given you that ride. I wanted to.

I smiled, feeling a huge weight slip off my chest.

Rebekah: I know. Don't fret over it ❤

He took a while to type out a response and I wondered what it was.

Matt: Goodnight, Becks.

Disappointment surged through my veins but I was happy we'd at least talked. So, I smiled at the screen, put my phone aside and went to sleep with an ache in my chest.

*****

Meera had her chin propped up on her palm as she lazily slurped from the straw in her mouth which connected to her milkshake glass lying on the table.

Cheryl chuckled at something on her phone and got up. We didn't pay any attention because we thought she had to use the bathroom, but when she walked right out of the coffeeshop, our heads perked up in question.

Right outside, we saw Mack's car pulling up. She got in and they drove away.

"What the fuck?" Meera blinked at the giant glass window. "Do we even exist?"

I chuckled, surprised. "Did she just forget she was here with us? What the hell was that?"

With a frown, Meera dialled Cheryl's number, placed the phone on the table between us and put it on speaker.

"Shit, guys—" she started.

"Did you just leave?" she cut her off.

"Yes, oh my God! I can't believe I'm such an idiot. I was waiting for Mack's text so eagerly to tell me he was here to pick me up that I completely forgot to let you guys know. In my head, I'd done it but I forgot to actually say it out loud."

We heard Mack's chuckle in the background and stared at each other blankly, shaking our heads at them.

Ever since they'd patched up, they'd been taking things up a notch. And no, it wasn't like Cheryl could argue this time that neither of us knew what it was like to be in a relationship. We both did now.

Just the other day, Cheryl had invited us over for a sleepover when her parents were working the graveyard shift. But what we didn't know was that she'd invited Mack too. Don't get me wrong, Mack had been a part of the group ever since he'd started dating our friend but lately, it had started to feel like it was the two of them, and Meera and me.

It wasn't the first time we'd had Mack over for a sleepover. He never minded hanging out with just us girls as long as he got to be with Cheryl. But that night, five minutes into the movie, Cher and Mack had gone upstairs to her room. About two hours later, it was at 1 in the morning when Meera and I had finished the movie and realized they weren't coming down.

"It's fine, Cher," I said with a sigh.

"Alright. Talk to you guys later."

And she hung up.

Meera threw her hands up in the air before composing herself and going back to her milkshake. "If I ever get like that over a guy, will you punch me?"

"Yes."

"Good." She gave a violent nod.

I pushed my empty milkshake glass away and leaned back with another sigh.

"Are you feeling any better?" she asked. I'd gotten busy looking out at the passing cars and when I turned my head back to her, I saw concern in her eyes.

"Considering everything, yes."

"So many things happening at once, huh?"

I nodded, looking down at my watch. "We should probably head home. We have school tomorrow and I'm yet to finish the math assignment."

She pursed her lips with disapproval. Yes, I was avoiding a conversation about how I was feeling because honestly, I was feeling way too many things at once and it was impossible to pick one to talk about. I'd rather feel it all without talking.

"Okay." She nodded nonetheless and we left the coffeeshop.

When she dropped me home, I started to head straight to my house but some movement from across the street caught my attention. Hesitantly, I lifted my eyes to find the kittens playing in the yard. A little smile tugged at my lips at the sight.

But wait! They were never left out alone. They always had someone watching over them and that someone was usually Matt. My eyes did a frantic sweep of the yard for him and as they came across a figure near the steps, I felt my heart race but it calmed down just as quickly when I saw that it was Garrett.

He passed me a smile and waved.

Just as I lifted my hand to wave back at him, Matt walked out into the yard and since he was right behind Garrett, it somehow appeared I was waving at him. My hand stopped mid-air just as our eyes met.

Keeping his gaze firmly fixed on me, he said something to Garrett, who nodded and blew out a breath as if saying 'finally' and trod back inside the house.

As if he'd just compelled me with an imaginary pull, I was suddenly drawn towards him. My feet involuntarily started towards his house. He didn't budge, neither did his gaze.

And I stopped when there was hardly an inch between us. That's when he broke eye contact to throw a look behind me at my house. His hand gently curled around my wrist and pulled me to the back of his house. I was confused until I realized he was making sure my brother wouldn't see us.

He stopped when we were a few steps away from the backyard, a perfect spot to get out of the view from my house and keep an eye on the kittens.

His eyes ran across my face. "Hey."

I smiled. "Hey."

"About last night, I—"

"Matt, it's okay. You're not obligated to give me a ride whenever I have to go somewhere."

His brows furrowed like I was wrong and he had secretly taken it upon himself to drive me around.

"I mean..." I licked my lips once. "I'm not holding it against you. It's fine."

He gave a reluctant nod, eyes never leaving my face. "Are you okay?"

"Is it something on my face? Why does everybody keep asking me that?" I let out a chuckle.

"I meant after the night you came home drunk. I know it was two nights ago but I'm not letting it go until I know what it was about and you're not hurt."

"I'm fine. Of course, I'm fine. Do I look hurt?"

He folded his arms over his chest. "Why would Meera ask if you needed a doctor?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "You know how dramatic she can get."

His eyes narrowed, clearly not believing me. But he had to. I was completely fine.

"Well, I heard the football gossip," I said in an attempt to change the subject.

It was a successful attempt. For now, at least.

It took him a moment to understand what I was talking about and nod.

"You better kick their asses out there, captain." I extended my hand for a shake. "Congratulations."

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. His eyes fell down to my hand before averting back up to my face. He took my hand and I thought he was going to shake it (because what else would I expect?) but I yelped in surprise when he tugged at it and made me crash against his chest, pinning my hand right over his heart. "Thank you."

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside because of his gaze, which was both soft and intense at the same time. After such a long time, I was shrouded by his presence—his scent, his warmth, and his protectiveness. I'd missed it all.

"You're welcome," I whispered.

A raucous crash from inside his house startled me, and my head snapped to the side.

"I swear to God," Matt said under his breath. "...if they've broken something else."

"You have guests?"

"Guests that I'm about to kick out if I find another one of my mom's vases broken." He gritted his teeth, then answered to my bafflement. "It's the guys. I'm sick of these football meets."

Just as he'd said that, Chris had nervously walked into our view of inside the house. Then, he saw Matt looking right at him and all colour drained from his face, and just like that, he retraced his steps to where he'd come from.

I turned to Matt to find him watching him with narrowed eyes before he decided to let that go and turn back to me, the frown on his face easing off instantly.

"Go save your house. Don't let me hold you back from that," I muttered, stifling a smile.

Reluctantly, he let go of my hand, and I fell back a step. Lately, the best part of my day was whenever we met, and the worst part was whenever we parted.

I watched as he too took a disinclined step towards his house, and in the very next second, even before I could process it, he leapt forward, closed the small gap between us and collected me in his arms. He held me so tight that he was practically squishing me against himself, and I didn't mind the lack of oxygen for a while as I buried my face in his chest.

And just as quickly as he'd grabbed me, he let go of me, not even giving me the time to relish the kiss he'd left on my temple while pulling away before he was inside his house already.

My heart jumped at his action, and just because of that one fleeting hug, I was in a bright mood for the rest of the day.