Chapter Sixty One - And I Fold
I missed him a lot.
A small part of me wished he hadn't become the captain and was so busy all the time. But with the football game coming up, I figured he'd be busy practicing either way, captain or not.
Finally, the day came. The big game weekend was here.
The noise from the field made it all the way to the changing room as I stood outside it, waiting to see Matt before the game. It was starting to get dark, and the game was going to begin in a few minutes.
The door swung open, and the entire team reeled out in their jerseys and protective gear. I looked for my boyfriend among them, and a moment later, he stepped out. His eyes landed on me, and he stopped walking, letting the players walk past him.
"I'm not gonna take a lot of your time," I said. "Just wanted to wish you luck before the game."
He took a step closer. I noticed his hands were twitching to reach out like he was hesitant to do whatever he had in mind, and I felt a pang in my chest. When did we fall to that?
He finally dwindled the distance between us but did not touch me. "Thank you."
I found myself beholding the sight of his face. That was the closest we'd been in a few days. I had so much I wanted to talk to him about, but I didn't wanna overwhelm him before the game.
"I've missed you," he said before I could.
Fuck! There it goes!
"I've missed you too." Tears pooled in my eyes, and I quickly blinked them back. However, a stubborn one rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it with the back of my hand, snickering, "shit! What the hell? I guess I'm more nervous about the game than you are. I'm getting jitters." I chuckled nervously.
Hurt was evident in his eyes, clearly seeing right past my act.
"Becks, I know I've been so dist—"
"No." I shook my head. "You don't owe me any of that. But whatever you have to say to me, you can save it for after the game. Right now, I just want you to get out there and kick some ass. Good luck, Matt."
I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and made my way back to the bleachers while wiping another tear that had decided to roll down my cheek for some unknown reason.
"Hey! Should we buy those foam fingers?" Mack was pointing to the people wearing them in the row ahead of us as I settled down next to Cheryl.
"No, Mack." Cheryl shook her head at him. "You never wear it."
He pouted.
After five minutes, the teams gathered in the field, and I brought my hands together nervously as Matt took the quarterback position behind the offense line.
Wait, what? Wasn't he a tackle?
Right! He's replacing Sean.
I instantly grew nervous for him, wondering if he'd had enough practice. Of course he had. He's got this, I reassured myself. My fingers gripped the edge of my seat when he was passed the ball, and a herd of other team's defensive players lunged for him. The first down wasn't successful.
The second time, he passed the ball to Chris and sprinted ahead. The players went for Chris until everyone realized Matt had never actually passed the ball.
"Whoa!" Our school broke into cheers when he made it the first ten yards with the ball.
Thankfully, after the first quarter, they were leading.
"This is great!" Mack hooted loudly.
Even from afar, I could see the spark and a pre-win celebration on our players' faces. But they didn't let it mess with their head. Every single player remained focused and sharp, just like the captain. But he allowed himself to lose focus for just one moment during the game when he looked into the crowd, eyes searching until they landed on me and stopped. I lifted my hand and waved, grinning at him.
A little smile reached his lips, and he was back to being alert on the field.
"Oh my God! I think he just looked at me. He's so hot. You're so hot!" Someone yelled at the field from the back rows. Sadly, that wasn't the first girl who'd hollered that to Matt. I rolled my eyes.
By the end of the third quarter, in a surprising and unfortunate turn of events, our team was behind by six points. Some of the teammates had celebrated too soon and lost focus, but it wasn't too late yet.
"Matt's playing defense, too?" Mack frowned.
I blinked. "What? Is that wrong? Is that not allowed?"
"It's allowed but offense QBs usually don't play defense."
I must've missed that little information. Ever since Matt had become the captain, I'd started learning about football and watching games on YouTube to understand it better. I'd hate to cheer at the wrong moment or not cheer when I was supposed to. I wanted to know exactly when to cheer for my boyfriend instead of just hollering with the crowd.
I held my breath as Chris tackled the other team's fullback, who was making a run for the first ten yards in the fourth down. Thankfully, Chris was successful, and now our team was playing offense again.
As the other players regrouped on the field, I sipped on some cold drink anxiously.
"Five minutes of the last quarter. They need a bloody touchdown! Come on!" Mack shouted.
The players took their positions, and the moment Matt got the ball, one of the other team's defensives tried to tackle him, but he defended and sprinted towards the endzone. Man! He was a fast sprinter.
I stopped breathing when another player collided with him and made him drop the ball. But like an unstoppable force with a minor setback, he was quick to recover and retrieve the ball as he made a run for the line.
And then, he made it!
"Touchdown!" came the word from the speakers, and the bleachers went berserk!
"Oh my God!" I shouted over the noise to my friends, barely able to hold back an excited squeal.
"He did it!" Mack raised his hands in the air, full on cheering with the rest of our school.
After that, the kick through the uprights for an extra point was a piece of cake, and the victory was ours.
The players went crazy on the field, all of them gathering in a large group hug and celebrating with pretty violent chest bumps and aggressive ruffling of the hair and shoulder pats.
Once they broke free and started to walk off the field, Matt looked up at me.
"You did it," I mouthed at him, grinning.
I couldn't even begin to describe the way his eyes lit up. If he'd been happy and celebrating before, he appeared to be on a blissful retreat now. Like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest.
I realized he'd stopped walking. Then, he motioned towards the building.
I understood it loud and clear and jumped out of my seat.
"I'll see you guys," I said to my friends and climbed down the bleachers, then ran towards the building where he'd just disappeared with the rest of the players.
Huffing, I made it to the changing room corridor, and there he was alone, leaning against the wall. He saw me and instantly began to advance in my direction, but I'd let him take barely two steps before I ran up to him and threw my arms around his neck. He was quick to put my legs around himself and veer to the side, pinning my back against the wall as he kissed me with everything he had.
He was sweaty, but I didn't care. I only found him all the more sexy as he grabbed my chin and pushed my lips apart further to deepen our kiss. A groan emitted from my throat as I buried my fingers in his hair and bit down on his lip, making him groan too.
"God, Becks!" He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine, breathing heavily.
I licked my lips, the aftertaste of him still lingering on them. "The team was really good out there. You're an amazing captain."
Dark brown pools stared into my gray ones.
Swallowing, I unwrapped my legs from around him. He did not like that as he tightened his arms around my waist, not wanting me to slip away.
"You were busy with football, but we both know that besides that, I gave you a reason to be distant," I muttered. "I'm sorry too, Matt. I'm gonna tell my brother about us. No backing out, no second thoughts this time."
"It doesn't matter." He shook his head. "I've told you before that I don't care. You're all that matters to me. I don't care how we're meeting as long as we're meeting. I'll call it a win if you tell me it's not too late to go back to being us."
A wave of disbelief washed over me. I should've been the one asking him that. I'd been the one who kept messing up ever since we got together. I placed my palms on his chest and smiled up at him. "It's not."
A look of relief crossed his face, and he began to stroke my face with his fingers.
"Oh, before I forget." A mischievous little smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Will you go to prom with me?"
"Oh no! Sorry. You asked too late." I clicked my tongue. "I already said yes to someone else."
He narrowed his eyes playfully. "Really? What's his name? Just asking for a friend."
I chuckled. "What does this friend of yours want with him?"
"He just wants to have a chat. A very verbal chat."
I burst out laughing. A verbal chat? How dorky of him!
His hands danced across my back, touching every inch like he was making himself familiar again while his mouth planted wet, open-mouthed kisses across my neck and jaw, making me chuckle out of pure ecstasy.
"Will you please go to prom with me, baby?"
And I fold...
Even though my knees had turned to jelly, I plucked up the strength to lean up on my tiptoes and softly bite his earlobe before placing a kiss on his cheek. "Thought you'd never ask. Of course I'm going with you."
It was only when his shoulders relaxed that I realized he'd tensed up, and a part of him had actually believed me, even though he knew damn well I was kidding. A small part of him had actually wound up even at the thought of me going to prom with someone else.
Somebody cleared their throat, making us both turn to the side at the same time to find someone standing a few feet away from us. It was Luke.
Oh my God! His fathe—adoptive father had just caught us making out. I fumbled out of Matt's arms and took two steps away from him. I was too embarrassed to meet Luke's eyes, but I did anyway, prepared to find some judgement but there was none. He didn't seem to mind.
"Hey, buddy." He took a hesitant step towards us, eyes on Matt. "You were phenomenal out there."
"You were there?" Matt sounded a little taken aback. "I had no clue you were coming to see the game."
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it for the world." A little smile tugged at his lips, and I found myself smiling at the exchange. That was so sweet of him.
I decided to quietly slip away because I felt like it was their moment, but the second I took a step back, Luke quickly said, "it's fine, Rebekah. I was just leaving."
And then, he took a step back, nodding at Matt, who stood there in absolute silence.
I really wanted to smack him in the head and shout, 'Are you gonna do or say something?' but I didn't have to. Thankfully.
"Thanks," he spoke up. "It means a lot."
Luke stopped in his tracks, the surprise clear on his face, which was soon replaced with a look of triumph as he gave another nod. "You're welcome."
And then, he left us alone.
There was an incredulous look on Matt's face as he watched Luke until he'd walked out of the building. Then, he shook out of it and turned back to me, reaching for my hand.
"Let's go home?"
"Home? Aren't you supposed to attend the after party? You guys won."
"They can have their after party. I want mine."
"Subtle ways to ask for sex 101. You should take that class," I spoke in a husky voice, then gasped when he tugged me back to where I was before—in his arms—as he gazed into my eyes with an impish gleam in his own.
"As I've said before, unlike you, I don't have a one-track mind." He grinned, his eyes telling me that he did not mean a word of it as he started pulling me towards the exit.
*****
"What are you smiling about?" Matt asked as he stepped out of the bathroom only in his pants, drying his hair with a towel.
"I'm just happy." I shrugged. "I haven't been here in days. I've missed your room. And the cats."
He put the towel down on the bed, walked over to the study table, and stood there with his back to me for a few moments. His shoulders rose up as he took in a deep breath.
"I didn't say that to make you feel bad again," I cleared.
"I know." He nodded, turning to me.
My eyes fell on the item on the table, which was hidden behind him—an envelope.
"Did you hear back from some college?" I blinked.
"Yes." He followed my gaze. "That's from Julliard."
"And?"
"I got in."
My eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh my God! Congratulations, Matt."
"Thanks."
"Why didn't you tell me? When did this letter arrive?"
"Yesterday. I was waiting for things to settle down a bit."
"Oh!" I nodded. "But I'm so happy for you. This is so great! You'll be so close to me."
"Becks..." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure I'm going."
"What? Why not?" I frowned.
"I got into Brown as well."
"Brown? But you wanted to study music at Julliard."
"I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore. Maybe I wanna study business. I love music but studying it? A year ago, it was the only thing I'd wanted, but now, I don't know."
I sat down on the edge of his bed. Brown's too far away, I wanted to say, but stayed quiet.
"I know what you're thinking. I'm waiting to hear from Cornell as well. That's close."
I smiled at him. "Matt, if you wanna go to Brown, go. I'm happy for you. We can still meet over the weekends. It's not that far."
He looked so grateful about me understanding, I wondered if he was nervous about telling me. So, my opinion about his college future mattered to him. That was nice. He definitely wasn't dumping me over long distance.
I found myself taking pleasure in that knowledge.
"I have something for you," he said just as he pulled open the table drawer next to me. "I was going to give this to you as a little parting gift right before I left for college, but I can't wait."
The idea of a parting gift suddenly depressed me, but the excitement of what he'd got me took over, and I pushed the thought of him leaving to the back of my mind.
"What is it?"
"Come here."
I got to my feet just as he walked me to the mirror and stood behind me with half a smile. He lifted his fist up next to my face and let a chain hang loose from it, revealing a beautiful silver pendant.
A music note pendant. The quavers note that looked like an M.
I gaped at with wonder while he gathered my hair in his palm, and, in a daze, I held it up as he clasped the necklace around my neck.
"It's so beautiful, Matt. I love it. But why the music note?"
"Even during the worst parts of my life, I could always count on music. It has given me countless good memories and now..." His dark eyes locked with mine through the mirror. His thumbs caressed my bare skin, and he leaned forward to kiss my neck. "It has given me you. I owe everything to it. And I wanted to give my favourite person an emblem of my favourite thing in this whole world. So, even when I'm not with you when I'm in college and if I can't be around music anymore, I'll find comfort in the fact that you two are together—the two best things in my life."
And in the past, he'd implied he wasn't a corny person and didn't do clichés. Damn him! I swallowed a lump in my throat and blinked back my tears, turning around to face him before I could break into an ugly sob.
"Thank you. I'll treasure it forever." I smiled, wiping away an annoying, stubborn tear that had decided to roll down my cheek. "And I'll always be with you. I'm only going to spare you on weekdays. I'll get my driving license this summer, so if you're not back here on weekends, I'll come down there to kick your ass."
"Good to know." He chuckled, a rich and contagious sound that made my lips break into a smile too.
I exhaled shakily, then cleared my throat. "I have something for you, too."
"For me?" He pulled his brows together.
I nodded and lifted my t-shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor.
"Whoa! Okay." His face lit up.
That was until I took off my bra.
Because then, his smile vanished, and his jaw dropped. He looked up at me as if confirming it was real, then looked down at my breasts again. "What did you do?"
I smiled at his reaction. I'd gotten a tattoo right over my heart.
It was an M. Just like the one on his torso.
It was so deep down below that my bra could fully cover it up. It was also a little smaller than his tattoo, but same font and same colour.
"Oh my God, Rebekah!" He faltered, eyes fixed on it and hands lifting. "Can I..."
"Yes, you can."
His fingers grazed over it softly, and he finally lifted his eyes to mine in disbelief. "When? How?"
"That's what I was doing the night I got drunk. I took Meera along for moral support. But you were right, I did wuss out because of the needle. So, I had to get myself drunk to do it. Finally! Here we are!"
He was too shocked to react. I don't think he was even blinking.
"But why?"
"You do know what it stands for, right?" I raised a brow.
"I-I'm willing to take a guess but go on."
"It's for Matt."
His eyes grew wide for a moment, and he nodded half-mindedly, too shocked to even react properly. "W-why? To show me how much I mean to you? Because we were having these arguments? God, Rebekah! You didn't have—"
"No. Because I wanted to. That's it. Not to prove anything but for the same reason you got yours. Your dad means a lot to you, and you mean a lot to me. You wanted to carry him with you forever, and I wanna carry you forever. No matter where you go, I know you'll always come back to me."
He exhaled loudly, still in shock, and I gently pushed his wet hair out of his forehead with a smile. A soft look reached his eyes, and his fingers lifted to my face. Then he kissed my forehead, and we just stayed like that, his lips lingering.
"And this tattoo made you so miserable that night? Were you hurt? Were you in pain?" He scowled.
"Not much. Just a little, but that was embarrassing, okay? I got drunk, and my emotions kind of overflowed. The tattoo had nothing to do with my mood. If anything, I'm happy to get it."
He nodded, eyes falling to the black ink again, taking his own time to recover, mouth opening several times but no words coming out, until he finally asked,
"You let some random tattoo guy touch you there?"
I rolled my eyes. "Or it could be a girl."
"Was it?"
"Shut up."
He complied, eyes still trailing over it.
"So, you like it?" I asked hopefully.
"Like? I-I don't know what to say, honestly. It's beautiful. Just wow. And you..." He looked up at me, still not fully recovered from his shock. "... you're amazing." He breathed out.
A smile broke out on my lips, and I threw my arms around his neck and smothered his adorably confused face with kisses.
He grabbed me by the waist, carried me to his bed, and climbed on top of me. My fingers curled in his hair as he kissed my tattoo and simultaneously took off my jeans.
Since there wasn't a party going on with loud music bursting from the speakers like the last time we'd done it in his room, let's just say I was thankful for each time he clamped his hand over my mouth to stifle my moans.
And about an hour later, I was lying with my arm draped over his chest, eyes closed, coming down from my euphoria.
His lips lingered over my tattoo again like he couldn't get enough of it—he'd probably kissed it a thousand times already—then he brought his mouth to my neck and just breathed for a few seconds.
"Becks?"
"Hm?"
"I love you."
A smile took over my lips, and I buried my fingers in his hair.
"I know, Matt. I love you, too."
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