Chapter Sixty Five - No Easy Way Out

"Morgan."

The entire auditorium broke into a round of applause and cheers while I slowly released a long breath.

I lost.

"It's okay." Matt brought his mouth to my ear to whisper amidst the noise, "You gave it your best shot. That's what matters the most."

I nodded at him, holding back my tears. "I know."

"Becks," I heard Meera's voice, and my friends engulfed me in a big, group hug. "It's okay," Mack said, ruffling my hair. "It's not a big deal."

"And this was a stupid challenge anyway," Cheryl continued. "Not a grammy or something. You would totally win a grammy, by the way. Fuck all those who voted for your evil namesake. Maybe half of them got confused with your names and thought they were voting for you."

I let out a laugh, nodding. "Thanks, guys."

Everyone slowly began to move out of the auditorium while we stood in silence. I slowly gathered the courage to tell them I was fine or crack a lame joke so they'd stop looking so worried about me.

"Aw look at you!" My ears perked up at the voice and I turned around to find Rebecca walking up to us with a smirk. "I saw this coming months ago, Becks. Why did you have to take up that challenge when you knew you were no match against me? Why would you do that to yourself? Look at you now. I almost feel bad for you."

I swallowed. It was one thing to be defeated and a whole other thing to have the winner rub it in your face like that.

"Rebecca," Matt started with a frown. "Can you leave us alone?"

She smiled sweetly at him. "Anything for you, baby. You see now?" She tilted her head, an intense look flashing in her eyes as she took a step towards him and muttered in a husky voice, "I'm better than her. I'll always be better than her."

The scowl on his face morphed into half a smile like he pitied her. "You may be a better singer but you'll never be half the person she is, let alone a better one."

She swallowed, her face turning red as she shot me glare, her eyes sharp. "Whatever. I still defeated her. You can't possibly still want her—"

"Since I know you can't really tell when your presence is not required anymore even when it's clearly stated to you, I think we'll just leave. Come on, Becks." He took my hand and started pulling me away from her. My friends followed too and I could easily picture the smirk Meera must have thrown her way before walking away.

We made it to the parking lot and my friends said their goodbyes and patted my shoulder with silent reassurance before leaving. Once they were gone, I started looking around for my brother or Nick but they weren't there. Neither was their car. Did they leave already?

I got into Matt's car and we stayed quiet for the entire ride home. When he parked in front of my house, he finally said, "I know you feel really low right now but it's all gonna be okay. Soon you'll be laughing about this challenge because it means nothing, you understand?"

I nodded at him and stepped out of the car.

*****

A knock on my bedroom door in the evening interrupted my moping.

"Come in."

Blake pushed the door open, looking a little unsure as he stood in the doorway. "Hey!"

I smiled at him. That was the first conversation he'd initiated with me after the night he'd found out about Matt and me.

"Hey, Blake."

"I'm sorry about the challenge."

I nodded, motioning for him to come inside. He did and stopped about a foot away from my bed. Silence fell between us and it was an awkward one, the kind I'd never imagined I'd have to experience with my brother.

"I'm sorry, too," I found myself saying. "About everything."

He crossed his arms over his chest, clenching his jaw. "Are you though? Are you sorry about you and him? Do you regret it?"

I bit down on my lip. How can I regret the best thing that's ever happened to me? I wanted to ask him but stayed quiet.

"You don't."

I shook my head, saying in a low but firm voice, "I love him, Blake."

He took in a sharp breath. "Rebekah, why? Why him?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It just happened. I hated him and then I loved him. I tried to fight it but I couldn't. I've never felt this way for anyone, Blake. Not for Sean, not for any other guy."

I realized I had tears pooling in my eyes as I admitted that to him. He looked away for a second.

"You know when you kissed him that night, I wasn't even thinking about middle school. All I saw was my little sister with a guy who could break her apart."

"You don't know him, Blake. I do. He's not that middle school bully anymore. He would never hurt me."

"I don't trust him, Becks."

"But you trust me, right? So, trust me when I tell you he's changed. He loves me."

With a long sigh, he settled on my bed next to me and stared at nothing in particular. After a long, dreadful silence, he shook his head and looked me in the eye.

"No matter how much I try, I just can't wrap my head around it. You may have given him a chance, but I can't. And that's for your sake. Because I care about you. I forgive you, Becks but I'll never accept you two. Maybe you don't need me to, but I just had to let you know. You can do whatever you want, you don't need my approval but just in case you were looking for it, know that you'll never have it. Not with him."

With that, he got up and left my room. I took in a shaky breath and buried my face in my pillows, breaking into little sobs. I was an emotional mess, especially after losing the challenge.

After about an hour, my tears had dried up and I was just lying in my bed, facing the ceiling. A knock on the door made me raise my head up, hoping it was Blake and he'd changed his mind.

"Come in." I sat up hopefully.

Nick popped his head inside, then raised his mouth in disapproval. "Oh, it's hell in here."

I didn't know what he meant, neither did I ask.

"What do you want?" I asked.

He walked inside. "I just came to say goodbye."

"What?"

"Yeah, my family's back from their vacation so I'm gonna stay with them until I leave for college."

I let out a loud sigh. "Could this day get any worse?"

"Wow. You don't want me to leave? Never thought I'd see this day."

"Yeah. You're the kind who grows on people. But it's okay. I don't wanna get too attached and become buddies with you." I stepped out of bed and gave him a hug. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Nick."

"Not a problem, Becks." He patted me on the back and pulled away, a look of concern sitting in his eyes. "Just because I'm leaving, doesn't mean you can't call me. Remember I live fifteen minutes away, okay? Call me whenever you need to."

I smiled. "I will."

"Bye."

"Bye," I replied. He shut the door after himself and I laid back down on my bed, feeling even more depressed. I hated it when a guest left our house after days of stay, even if I wasn't a fan of them.

I shut my eyes in exhaustion, letting sleep take over. When I woke up, it was 8 p.m. and I could hear mom downstairs. I rubbed my eyes open.

"Where is she?" She sounded excited. What was going on?

"She's upstairs. In her room," Mrs. Brooke answered.

She started making her way up so I quickly stepped out of my room, walked down the hall and stood at the head of the stairs, making her stop in her tracks.

"Hey, popstar." She gave me a bright smile. "Come downstairs."

"Oh...kay." I nodded and made my way to the living room, baffled. Blake was seated on the couch, typing on his laptop. He looked up at me briefly and went back to his business.

"What's wrong?" Dad frowned at my face.

"Nothing." I shook my head. "I always look like this after my extended evening nap."

"So? How was it?" Mom wiggled her brows. "The competition?"

"Oh..." I took in a deep breath, knowing her bright smile was going to be wiped away very soon. "I didn't win."

"Come on." She chuckled. "You can say it now. Look at the things we got you." She pointed to the table and I finally noticed two wrapped boxes and the cake sitting in the middle.

"I lost, Mom. I'm not lying."

Her smiled vanished. "Really?"

I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry."

Her disbelief gave a hint of her disappointment as she settled on the couch with a loud sigh.

"It's fine," she finally said, not meaning it. "It was a stupid competition..."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dad shake his head at her like giving her a warning but she didn't seem to notice as she kept her eyes trained on me, her disappointment clearer now.

"And you couldn't even win that."

I swallowed. Blake lifted his head from the screen, a deep scowl sitting on his lips as he stared at mom.

"So, what are you gonna do now?" She crossed her arms.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"About the event."

"Nothing." I shrugged. "I lose, I don't get to perform. That was the deal."

She scratched her forehead with her index finger, clearly trying to hold herself back from saying what she was dying to say but the better part of her lost that little battle. "Let me guess. It wasn't that big of a deal either."

"No, it was a big deal," I answered.

Dad walked up to me and grabbed my shoulders, turning me away from Mom. "Come on, Becks. We're going up to your room."

It was an easy way out. But that was how it had always been—dad saving me from finding out just how much my mom was disappointed in me, how much she resented me when I couldn't live up to her expectations.

But not this time. This time, I stood firm in my spot.

"If she wants to say something, we should let her," I said.

"What did you just say?" I heard her get up from the couch.

"I said if you wanna say something, you can say it."

Blake slowly shut his laptop, looking between us.

"What can I possibly say to you, Rebekah? You don't listen to me. I kept asking you if you needed a trainer. You said no. I kept telling you to take Matt's help but no, you think you know best. Now look at you, you've lost."

"I'm sorry but I tried my best."

"Yeah, it wasn't enough," she snapped furiously, her eyes blazing and I flinched. "Why can't you just listen to me like Blake does? Why can't you be like him?"

"What?" Blake cut in. "Mom—"

"Because I'm not Blake," I shouted at her. "I'm Rebekah."

She took in a breath, eyes dangerous. "See? That's your problem. You don't wanna understand what I'm trying to say. Your brother is doing so good because he understands. Because he listens and then he makes up his mind. But you, you just wanna do what you want. What you think is right. I don't know what happened to you. I didn't raise you like that."

I caught a glimpse of Mrs. Brooke in the kitchen and immediately knew she was listening to it all when a sad look fell over her face as her eyes fell on mine.

"That's the problem, mom." A single tear rolled down my cheek. "You didn't raise me at all."

"How dare you?" She took a step closer, eyes narrowed. "Take that back. You don't know all the sacrifices I make just to give you the life you have. How dare you talk to your mother like that?"

"You are not my mother," I spat, my vision blurred because of the tears. "She is." I pointed towards Mrs. Brooke. "You don't know anything about my life and you never even bother to ask unless it's about my college application. She's the one who's always been there for me. She's the one who gives me a hug when I'm feeling low, not you. She's the one who can tell when something's wrong with me without me saying a word, not you."

For the first time in my life, I'd hurt my mother. Tears pooled in her eyes as she registered my words but she quickly blinked them back.

"I barely see you at home. And when I do, you're either criticizing me about something or asking me about my college application even though I've still got my entire senior year ahead. And it's because of you that I hate living in this house, you know that?"

"Then leave," she snapped, eyes bloodshot like she was on the verge of either breaking down or murdering me.

As her words sunk in, I broke into a tiny sob and my feet, of their own volition, moved towards the front door. I had a moment of indecisiveness, but my hands had already pulled the door open and my feet had taken me outside.

"Rebekah, wait!" I heard Dad and Blake's voice but I ran, straight down the driveway and towards my most taken route—the road to the school—hoping they wouldn't catch up. I didn't even care that I was barefoot, I just kept running until I was sure no one could find me and stopped at the park on the way to the school.

I sat down on one of the swings, buried my face in my hands and finally allowed myself to break down—shoulders shaking as my sobs rocked my entire body. I was deeply hurt. Until now, I'd just had a hunch but now I knew that my mother didn't just not like me, but she also truly hated me.

I don't know how long I sat there and wept.

My phone buzzed several times in my pocket and I ignored it. When I finally stopped crying and pulled it out, there were so many missed calls from dad and Blake and a few texts asking me to come back home.

Just then, a text popped up from Matt.

Matt: Hey

I wondered if he knew what had happened, if Blake had asked him to reach out to me. But I knew Blake would never go to Matt for help, so I replied.

Rebekah: Hey

I anxiously looked down at my phone, wanting to call my dad or Blake to tell them I was okay but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it yet. It buzzed again.

Matt: How did your mom take it?

I blinked at the screen. Matt definitely knew what had happened. That wasn't something he would just randomly ask.

Rebekah: Why are you asking?

I started swinging a little, feeling better as I stared at the three dots.

Matt: I saw how hyped she was about the whole music thing. Did she take it well?

Now I was genuinely confused. Did he know or not?

Rebekah: Not that well, considering I got kicked out.

Rebekah: Kind of.

I felt my heart pick up its pace. I had no idea how he was going to react to that.

Matt: Hahaha but seriously, what did she say?

Oh, he definitely didn't know. And the fact that he couldn't even consider it a possibility made me break into another sob. How could my own mother do that to me? Ask me to leave when she knew I had no means to go anywhere else? Did she even care that I wasn't taking dad's and Blake's calls?

Who was I kidding? Of course, she didn't give a damn.

Matt: ???

Rebekah: I'm sitting in a park. Seriously.

It was in that moment that I realized how cold I was in my camisole and yoga pants. Not to mention, I didn't have any socks on either and it was kind of cold.

My phone buzzed and Matt's contact flashed on the screen. I was in no mood to talk and I didn't trust my voice so I rejected the call. He sent me a text.

Matt: Which park?

I narrowed my eyes. Now that seemed suspicious. It could all have been planned by Blake from the beginning.

Rebekah: I don't want you to come and get me.

I rubbed my arms for warmth, looking around. Totally random but I was such an easy target for some psycho killer out there.

Matt: JUST TELL ME WHERE

I bit down on my lip.

Rebekah: Blake's not making you do this, is he?

Matt: No! Of course not.

Rebekah: Can I trust you?

Matt: You know you can, Becks. I promise no one's making me do anything.

I took in a deep breath, considering it but another text followed.

Matt: Please tell me where you are. I'm worried. Let me come and get you.

Rebekah: The first park on our way to school.

Did I do right? I dropped my phone in my lap and the sound of screeching tyres startled me. I looked up to find Matt's pulled up a few feet away. What the fuck? Did he teleport? He looked surprised to find me there like he'd been expecting it to be a prank.

He sprinted across the park and lifted my chin up to look into my eyes, concern flashing in his.

"Did you just teleport here?" I blinked.

"I was already out looking for you the moment you said you were sitting in a fucking park at this hour."

He took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders, helping me slip my arms into it and immediately rubbing them.

"What the hell is wrong with your family?" He rubbed my hands with his, blowing into them for warmth.

"They didn't exactly kick me out. I ran because mom asked me to leave in a fit of anger."

"Over a stupid challenge?" he spat and wrapped his arms around me as he pulled me to my feet and walked me towards his car. Once I was settled in, I relished its comfort and warmth.

"Partly. But there were other things too."

"What about your dad and Blake? They didn't say anything?" He started driving us back to his house.

"They must have wanted to," I muttered.

He didn't ask me any more questions and when he pulled the car in front of his house, I looked over at mine. It appeared to be dead silent. Without a second thought, I let Matt take me up to his room and tuck me in his bed.

"I'll get you something to eat, okay?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Rebekah, I don't think you've had dinner."

"I'm fine. I'll let you know if I'm hungry, promise."

He nodded with a frown and settled down on the edge of his bed, stroking my hair. "Just get some sleep."

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I fished it out. It was dad.

I thought for a second and decided to answer. My dad hadn't done anything wrong besides remaining silent. He didn't deserve all that stress.

"Hey, dad."

"Rebekah! Oh, thank God! Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Where are you? Just tell me and I'll come and get you."

"I'm fine, dad. I'm at a friend's house."

"Are you really okay? Let me talk to your friend."

"No. He's downstairs."

There was a pause.

"It's a guy?"

"Is that a problem?"

Another pause.

"It is not. Just tell me that you're okay. I can come and get you whenever you want."

"I'm okay. I think I'm gonna stay here for a while. I need time."

"Take all the time you need but just stay safe, okay? Remember that I love you."

It could've been my imagination, but I'd heard him stress on the 'I'. So, what he meant was, 'Even though your mom doesn't, I love you'. And that should've been enough, but it was not.

Tears pooled in my eyes again. "Thanks, dad. I love you, too. Bye."

I hung up and placed my phone on the nightstand, sniffling.

"Thank you for coming to get me," I whispered to Matt.

He wiped my tears away with his thumb. "Of course."

He got up and disappeared in the bathroom, then came out in a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. He turned the lights off and slipped under the blanket next to me but stayed on the other side, giving me space.

I tossed around and buried my face in his chest, breaking into tears again, as pathetic as it was. But I knew he wasn't going to judge.

"Hey." He wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head, whispering, "I'm here, Becks. I've got you."

And I drifted off to sleep.

*****

"No, you can't."

"What the hell? She's my sister. You can't stop me from seeing her."

"That's not what I meant. She just went to sleep. She's really exhausted. You have to understand, Blake. She's fine. I've got her. You can come see her tomorrow."

I sat up on the bed in confusion and called out, "Blake?"

They stopped talking, and a moment later, the door opened. Matt turned the lights on, and Blake sprinted inside, a look of relief crossing his face when he saw me.

"Thank God! Are you okay, Becks?"

"I'm fine."

"You scared the crap out of me," he scolded with a frown, sitting down beside me.

"Did you tell dad I'm here?"

"No, I didn't. When he mentioned a guy friend, I knew I'd find you here. Where the hell did you run off to?"

"Park." I shrugged.

"And you could tell him? But not me? Not dad? We were really scared, Becks."

You should've said something to Mom then.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You wanna stay here tonight?"

"I do."

He got up with a nod and walked towards the door, saying to Matt reluctantly, "Take care of her."

"You don't have to tell me that." He shut the door after Blake.