Chapter Sixty Eight - The End

In a surprising turn of events, Cheryl was transferring to another school. Her parents had to move because of a very good opportunity her dad had found and even though Cheryl had the choice to stay back with her aunt and finish her senior year with us, she'd decided to move with them.

The moment she mentioned she'd be closer to Mack's college, it all made sense to Meera and me.

It stung a bit since we'd been best friends since childhood, but we supported her anyway and were happy for her, but the farewell party we'd thrown her was hella depressing. The fact that I was already dealing with my break up with Matt only made another goodbye even more painful.

Now Meera was the only person who was just a phone call away whenever I needed to meet up and talk. I'd never been more thankful for having her in my life.

"Rebekah, come downstairs. Lunch is ready," came the voice of our new housekeeper, Sharon. She was in her mid-thirties, and my mom had personally installed her in this household to become her eyes and ears while she was at work. Sharon told mom everything about my day, which usually involved me waking up, coming downstairs for meals, and mostly spending the rest of the time alone in my room.

Meera sometimes came over, but it wasn't the same as when Mrs. Brooke was around. I really missed her.

I'd also noticed that something was up with Meera. She'd been acting distant lately. Maybe she was also having a hard time dealing with Cheryl and Mack leaving.

"And what is it for lunch?" I shouted back.

"I cooked you all the greens."

I made a face. She knew how much I hated it.

"You can keep it to yourself, Gothel," I retorted.

"Stop calling me that. And I'm gonna call your mother if you don't come downstairs in another five minutes."

I sighed in defeat and ambled out of bed as her footsteps neared my room, and without a warning, she swung my door open.

"Hey! Knock!" I snapped at her.

But it wasn't her. My jaw dropped as the unexpected visitor walked inside my room with a smile.

"Oh my God!" I grinned at him. "Nick?"

"Hey, Becks. Did you miss me?"

"Not really." I chuckled and gave him a hug. It felt nice to hug a friend. I hadn't had a hug in...well, it seemed like forever.

"It's hell in here," he said, looking around my room as he pulled back. The same thing he'd said the day he was leaving after his stay. The day I'd had that fall out with my mother.

"What are you doing here?"

"I made a stop at home and decided to check up on you before I went back to college."

I smiled. "Thanks, Nick. It's really good to see you." I asked my next question hesitantly, "How's Blake?"

"He's oddly better ever since he heard about..." he trailed off.

"The break up," I finished for him, and he nodded, a look of concern flashing in his eyes.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." I shrugged.

"Have you heard from Matt?"

I fidgeted my fingers and sat back down on the edge of my bed. "No. Not in two weeks."

"Did you reply to any his messages from the past weeks?"

I shook my head.

Matt had left for college three weeks ago. He was at Brown University now. After the break up at the music event, he'd sent me many texts and called me so many times. He'd even attempted to climb up to my room once, but I'd kept my window locked, feeling something break inside me when he finally gave up and left after about two hours. I'd felt heartless leaving him out there like that, but I knew that if I'd let him see me, he would've easily convinced me to change my mind.

I hadn't picked up any of his calls, but I'd given him the same answer each time over text. I'm sorry. We can't be together. Please give up. And every time, it had drained me of my peace bit by bit.

Well, all that was until I'd seen him through my window the day he was leaving for college. His bags were packed, and with each bag getting loaded in the car, I found a piece of me going with it. And when Matt had looked up at my window for a fleeting moment before getting into his car and driving away, I felt all emotions leave me at once.

I knew in that moment that the voice at the back of my head was true.

I'll never love anyone again.

The only thing that kept me going was his messages that kept popping up that I could never bring myself to reply to.

Matt: Becks, this place is amazing. I wish I could show it to you.

Matt: Hey! I sent you a picture. Yep, that's my dorm number. You should come see me sometime.

Matt: Becks, it's really good here, but I miss you. Go check up on the cats sometime. I know they miss you too.

Then his last message, which had come two weeks ago.

Matt: Becks, I love you. I'll always love you. Come back to me when you can.

That was it. He'd given up after that. I really wanted to reply with 'I love you too, Matt', but I knew I'd just have to break my heart again and let him go... again.

I couldn't handle that.

Maybe he was happy there and could move on. And that was all that I cared about. For him to be happy.

"You're really gonna start your senior year tomorrow with that face?" Nick raised a brow at me.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm fine, Nick.

"You're not. Which is why I wanna do something for you."

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"I want you to get in my car right now so I can drive you to Brown."

"What? No, Nick—"

"If you don't, I'll strap you in. That's a promise." He looked dead serious.

After a thoughtful moment, I scoffed in frustration.

"You think I don't wanna see him? Look at me, Nick. I'm miserable without him. But seeing him won't do either of us any good. We'll just have to say goodbye again, and that was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I can't do it again."

"Maybe you don't have to say goodbye. Maybe you guys don't have to break up. You clearly love each other, and that's so rare, Rebekah. Don't let it go like that."

It suddenly became hard to breathe with the lump forming in my throat, and I blinked through my tears. "But Blake—"

"Fuck Blake. I'm gonna kick his ass once I get back to college. He's being so selfish, Becks. If he can't let go of his anger for your happiness, you shouldn't let go of your happiness for his anger."

"But he's my brother."

"And you're his sister. He'd older but not wiser. It's you. You're the wise one. Please don't be so stupid when it comes to your own happiness. You have to be selfish here, Becks."

I looked down at my phone, reading all of Matt's texts again, feeling all the pain again as I ran my thumb over the last one. Come back to me when you can.

"So?" Nick raised a brow.

I nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Okay?" he asked in disbelief. "Okay, drive me to my lover, Nick?"

I nodded, surer.

"Oh, thank God!" He advanced towards the door and I slid my feet into the nearest footwear I could find—my flip flops—and ran downstairs.

"Hey!" Sharon looked away from the television. "I told you five minutes. It's been—"

"Later, Gothel," I told her, sprinting to the front door.

"Oh my God! Who is that boy? He was in your room?" She blinked in disbelief and neither of us bothered responding as we hurried out of the house.

I got into Nick's car and he started driving us to Brown. I was nervous, anxious, happy and excited all at the same time. It was a really long drive and by the time we made it there, the sun had started to set in the sky.

I made it straight to the dorms, surprised but thankful that no one stopped me for some student ID.

Once I made it to Matt's dorm, I stood there in anticipation, imagining his reaction. Would he be mad at me or would he just forget everything and kiss me? I had ignored him for two months straight and his texts had stopped two weeks ago. Had he given up on us out of exhaustion or anger?

One way to find out.

Taking in a deep breath, I lifted my hand and knocked on the door. When I heard some shuffling on the other side, I forgot how to breathe. Footsteps neared the door and as the knob twisted, I almost cried happy tears over the idea of seeing him.

Finally, the door opened.

"Hey!" A girl smiled at me in bafflement.

"Oh I-I'm sorry. There must have been some mistake."

"Who is it?" A deep voice asked and I froze.

My mind went into denial, aggressively telling me I was mistaken but that confusion was quickly cleared up when Matt stepped up to the door, shirtless.

And the moment his eyes fell on me, he froze too.

It took me a moment to notice the girl's appearance. Messy. She was in a shirt. It was Matt's shirt. I recognized it from prom.

"Becks..." he whispered.

I blinked between them and took a step back, murmuring with half a mind, "I'm sorry."

And then I retraced my way back down the corridor, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle. Not like it was a hard puzzle yet the realization hit me hard.

He'd slept with her.

Desperate footsteps followed, catching up with me.

"Becks, wait!"

He grabbed my arm and I yanked it free like his touch burnt me. It somewhat did. It didn't feel familiar at all. "Don't touch me."

"You can't be mad at me," he shouted, eyes desperate and pleading. "You broke us up."

"Right." I nodded. "It was a good decision."

I started to walk away but he quickly cut past me, pinned me against the wall and slammed his hand on it beside me, his eyes fiery and begging. "You can't leave. Not like this. Please. This isn't fair."

"Your tone's really different from what I sensed in your messages, the ones in which you said how much you miss me, how much you still love me and that I can come back to you whenever I'm ready. Guess what, Matt? I came back but you've already moved on."

He sighed, shaking his head and bringing his hands to cup my cheeks so he could look into my eyes. "She means nothing to me."

I almost wanted to believe him, but I just felt numb as I stared into those eyes. Despite the betrayal, they looked so truthful. So how could I trust him?

"I bet that's what you told yourself about me when you were about to sleep with her," I whispered, feeling every emotion I'd ever felt for him—love, care, anger, empathy—turn into hate in that exact moment.

"I don't know how to explain this, Becks—"

"It's Rebekah to you," I cut him off.

A pained expression crossed his face. "Don't do this to me again, Becks. You broke me. I thought I'd never see you again. What you saw back there, it meant nothing, I promise. It was a moment of weakness and vulnerability. Please, listen—"

"I'm broken too, Matt. But the only difference between us is that I've been trying to deal with it instead of jumping in bed with the first guy I see."

"I'm not going to try to justify what I did. There's no explanation—"

"What if I'd come here tomorrow?" I cut him off, my chin wobbling as tears threatened to stream down my face.

"What?"

"Would you have told me you slept with another girl, or would you have just taken me back and pretended like it was all good again? How do I know this hasn't happened before?"

"What?" he breathed out incredulously.

"Forget about it."

I pushed him away and started walking.

"Becks, please," he called.

"I don't wanna see you again, Matt. Ever." My voice broke in the end as my tears betrayed me. They blurred my vision, and I had to blink several times to know where I was going. "I thought I'd never be able to get over you. But thank you for making it so much easier."

While turning left, I saw him out of the corner of my eye, and he was standing in the same spot, not chasing me anymore. I did not see his face as I exited the building.

"What happened?" Nick frowned at me once I got back in the car.

"You never should've brought me here."

"What?"

"He had a girl in his room," I said it like it meant nothing, ignoring the pain the words brought me.

"What the hell?" Nick spat. "I'm gonna go knock some sense—"

"Just drive."

After a moment of hesitation, he complied and started the engine. We drove away, and I didn't look back.

I was too exhausted to say anything on the ride back. As my house came into view, I felt a little relieved at the thought that school was starting the next day and I wouldn't have to spend the entire day up in my room. Even the sight of my house depressed me now.

While stepping out of the car, my gaze fell over to Matt's house, and I realized I would not see him in his jersey the next morning waiting in his driveway for me. He was never going to ask me if he could give me a ride again.

But then, the fact that I was missing the person who'd cheated on me hit me like a giant wave, the impact bruising my very soul. The same person I'd fallen in love with. The same person I'd trusted more than anyone in the world. How could he do that to me?

And I started crying, breaking into sobs that rocked my entire body as I leaned against Nick's car and sunk to the ground. Because despite everything, I still missed him. Despite everything, I still loved him.

And he didn't deserve an ounce of that.

I told him he'd made it easier for me to forget him, but I knew it was a lie. I was never going to forget him.

"Becks, I'm so sorry," Nick muttered softly, kneeling next to me. "I never should've—"

"It's not your fault." I sniffled, wiping my tears away. I had to pull myself together. Matt wasn't worth it. He'd meant the world to me a day ago, and now, I'd wanted nothing more than to go the rest of my life without seeing him ever again.

Resting my hand on the hood of the car, I hauled myself up to my feet and nodded. "Thanks for doing this for me. I should head inside. I'm already past my curfew, and I don't want any more trouble with my mom."

"Let me walk you inside."

"Nick, it's best if you don't. I'm fine. Go."

He looked hesitant, but he must've seen the determination on my face. I must've put on a good strong front because he nodded.

"Take care, Becks." He got into his car and drove away while I stayed under the night sky for a while, just switching my gaze between the stars and Matt's window.

Stop it, Rebekah. The Matt you knew was just an illusion. Face the reality. He cheated on you.

The low rumbling of an engine made me turn sideways, hopefully. I don't know why I lacked the self-respect to hope it was him. That he'd chased me all the way home from Brown. Not like it would've made a difference, but thankfully, it was not him.

Meera stepped out of her car.

"What are you doing standing out here?" she asked.

"Thank God for you!" I ran up to her and threw my arms around her. She quickly engulfed me in her arms and rubbed my back.

"Becks, what's wrong?"

"I went to see Matt at his college. I wanted to make things work again. But I found him with another girl. He'd slept with another girl, Mee."

"Oh my God!" She tightened her arms around me, letting out a quick breath. "I'm so sorry."

I wept in her arms for a long time, and she kept comforting me until I pulled away.

"I don't care anymore. I wanna forget about him. I wanna forget about everyone who's not here. Cheryl, Mack, Will, Parker, Mrs. Brooke. Everyone's left. All I have is you."

"Oh, Becks." Probably for the first time, I saw weakness on her face as tears pooled in her eyes. "That's why I came here. I-I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"I'm moving away."

I blinked at her. "What? Why?"

"My parents are getting divorced. My mom and I are gonna live with her brother in LA for a while."

"LA?" I gasped. "That's too far."

"I wanted to tell you before. I should've told you before." She cursed herself under her breath.

"You-you can't go. Meera, no, you can't, please. You can't leave me alone."

"You think I wanna go? That I wanna leave this place? I grew up here, Becks. This is the only place I know."

I bit down on my lip, trying so hard to control my tears. "You're right. This isn't about me. This is about you. How are you feeling about all this? Are you okay?"

"I'm not. I'm scared. I don't wanna go."

"Then don't. You can stay at my house." Another selfish ray of hope penetrated the darkness.

"You know that's not possible, Becks."

"I'm so sorry, Mee." I wrapped my arms around her, shutting my eyes tightly. "Everything's gonna be okay. You're gonna be fine."

"We're leaving tomorrow."

If I thought I had any part of serenity left after everything that had happened, it was gone now.

Everything had fallen apart.

I was going to be all alone.